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| (1995) My first birthday with my grandfather being his first grandchild |
It's been 2 months and 5 days since my beloved grandfather passed away. I can't believe how long it's been. How fast time has gone. It feels as though it was just yesterday. But Alhamdulilah, I'm so grateful that Allah (SWT) gave me and my family the strength and patience to get through what we never thought we would. I had to be strong for my family. You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have. I had to push my emotions to a side, and really be there for everyone. Especially my grandmother. But everyday is a new struggle, when you have to carry on living your life with such emptiness you never thought you would feel. As if a part of you is gone and never coming back. Before I could never relate or understand people when they lost somebody so close to them. But you can never know that feeling, til the pain of losing someone is afflicted upon you.
"Verily, with hardship, there is relief." (Qur'an 94:6)
But the excruciating pain and grieving my grandmother has gone through and continues to go through everyday cannot even be compared to the rest of my family. For my grandfather meant the world to her. The very reasons for why I admire my brave grandmother for the strength she has in her. She dedicated her life to her husband and she was there for him through everything. I've never seen a marriage quite like the way it was for my grandparents. The sacrifices, togetherness, love, strong deen and unity they had was stunningly beautiful. I crave and yearn for a love like that, when I'm married.
What I'll miss most is his warm and loving presence that just effortlessly lifted me and made me smile, with his warm fatherly kisses on my forehead. But I'll never forget my grandfathers blessings and wisdom in everything he spoke, everything he use to say to me and the beautiful things he had always wished for me. The last thing I remember him saying to me was how much he loved me and wanted me to always be happy, he was a big believer in self fulfilment and seeking contentment in the smaller things in life, in staying close to your faith and improving the relationship with your creator. That was one of the most beautiful things about him.
I make du'a that Allah (SWT) blesses him with Jannah-ul-Firdous. And I pray that someday I meet my beloved grandfather again in Jannah.
I'm so grateful to Allah, for the blessings he has given me in my life.
" You have the ability to endure all the trials in your life, for Allah does not burden a soul above its capacity. Don't lose hope and realise that Allah knows what you are going through. The most powerful weapon you have at your disposal is Du'a. Use it and use it often." - Shaykh AbdulBary Yahya
It pains me, that he isn't here. It hurts so much that I don't see him anymore and I won't see him again. That he won't be here to see me grow older and accomplish the great things he wished for me, more than I wished for myself. But everybody has to leave this world eventually, it was written to happen with the will of Allah and that was when my grandfather had to leave this dunya. And nothing could have changed that. The ink is dry and the pages have been written.
"Nothing shall happen to us, except what Allah has ordained for us." (Qur'an 9:51)
It's experiences and the situations that occur in your life, which remind you that this world is only temporary. That we aren't going to be here forever, so why do we seek to perfect it? We should aim to perfect ourselves merely for the sake of Allah (SWT). We should put our every efforts into changing ourselves for the better and prepare ourselves for the akhira. We should wake up every single day reminding ourselves of this.
Inna lilahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon.
Indeed to Him we belong, and to Him we will return.
Zara
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